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Last weekend, I hosted a book sale/reading/signing for a book I wrote and published myself. In the days leading up to the event, I found myself losing sleep and worrying at length as to how the whole thing would go. This isn’t all that unusual for me. In the weeks leading up to publishing the book in the first place, I found myself very nervous and worried about how the whole thing would go. In both instances, my younger brother told me something wise that assuaged my worries. He pointed out that no matter how the book sold or how the event w...
This morning is the first time I have sat at my desk, in my office, in a little more than a week. My wife and I just got back from a vacation week in Hawaii a celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary (which was technically back in July). Every morning while we were there, we got up early and went to the beach to exercise and watch the sunrise. One morning, while I was out running, I realized that the sunrise on the islands is pretty, but I actually think the sunrise over the Bear Paw Mountains is a bit more impressive. Our sunrise covers...
In 1934, an American theologian wrote a prayer for a sermon he was delivering. Reinhold Niebuhr’s short prayer has grown fairly well known over the years: God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Though it is generally presented with slightly different wording and has a second stanza, most people recognize it as the Serenity Prayer. The prayer is most famous for its association with Alcoholics A...
Years ago, I learned a format for praying that I continue to use in my personal devotions. It’s very simple: ACTS. It’s an acronym meaning Adoration (adoring God for His grandeur and awesomeness) , Confession (confessing my sins and asking for forgiveness), Thanksgiving (saying thank you for the blessings I have received), and Supplication (asking God for stuff). When I take a large block of time to talk to God, I usually follow this simple formula. The thing that I have discovered praying this way is that spending time praising God, con...
Anthony Hopkins once played C.S. Lewis in a movie. C.S. Lewis is the most quoted Christian author of the 20th century and one of my favorite writers. The movie, The Shadowlands, tells the story of Lewis’ brief marriage to Joy Davidman, who was dying of cancer when the two were wed. Lewis knew she was dying and married her anyway because he loved her. There is a great scene in which one of Lewis’ fellow professors remarks on how much Lewis had been praying over his wife’s situation. Lewis responds: “That’s not why I pray, Harry. I pray beca...
This morning, while I was making breakfast, my 5-year old came into the kitchen with a book he got a few weeks ago: The Jurassic World Survival Guide. He wanted to talk to me about how important the book would be in the event we encountered dinosaurs or if we take the time to watch the Jurassic Park movies again. He told me all about the reasons a guide book would be useful. During the time that I cooked the morning eggs, I learned a great deal about dinosaurs and guide books in general. Later in the morning, I told my wife about it and she...
As a part of my ongoing effort to be a healthier person, I have started making small changes to my routine every few weeks. For example, months ago I started adding more fruits and vegetables to my diet. I’ve also cut out most processed foods. These changes have been easy. The one I recently started has proven significantly harder. I’ve been tracking my sleep in an attempt to get the recommended 8 hours every night. Oddly enough, I rarely get over 7. In fact, I find myself stretching to make time to sleep. It’s so much easier to sleep a littl...
This morning, while scanning the morning’s headlines and checking my Twitter feed for anything of interest, I came across a tweet from a nationally known figure encouraging folks to shun any family members that support the opposing political party. I intentionally leave out the political affiliation, because this way of thinking isn’t foreign to any point of view right now. Discourse in our country has become increasingly acidic, a fact both sides readily blame on the other party. The thing about the tweet that I read this morning is that it...
I read a story about CS Lewis years ago in which a friend asked him if attending church is a necessary part of following Jesus. In response, Lewis answered “No” and pulled a coal from the fire and placed it on the hearth. In response, he asked his friend to describe the coal on the hearth. The answer was the sort of thing you’d expect: hot, glowing, etc. The conversation continued before Lewis turned the conversation back to the burning coal and asked again for a description. This time, the answer was different: cold, dark, etc. As the coal...
Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Taken alone, they’re pretty words. They sound good and are inspirational at their face. I think the real power of a quote like that is found through deeper investigation. Specifically, because they were spoken by the leader of the modern civil rights movement. They gain a great deal of additional weight when placed in the context of a life spent fighting to make the world better. It’s easy to offer statements about remaining hopeful from an...
I recently read about a study that was done on National Spelling Bee contestants. The study compared intelligence and hours spent studying words and language. The interesting fact that was revealed by the research was that intelligence was not the major determiner of success at the national level of competitive spelling. Rather, a more reliable measure to figure out who would advance further in competition was the number of hours a week the student spent studying language and spelling. Students who put in more hours tended to do better. To be...
This weekend, I replaced my dishwasher. The old one broke down a few months ago, and for various reasons, I chose to hand wash dishes rather than replace it. Finally, I decided to go and get another one. While installing it, I learned an important lesson: if you let a dishwasher sit for a few months, any liquids inside it sit too. Not only do they sit, they begin to smell awful. I learned this lesson when I unhooked the old one and tipped it over to disconnect it. Though I couldn’t see water in the machine before doing so, it was there. D...
For the last several years, I have occasionally filled in as a substitute teacher at the school. I’ve really enjoyed the experience and have been impressed over and over at the high quality of the school in Big Sandy. Last week, I helped out washing dishes a few times in the school cafeteria. I also really enjoyed this and was impressed at how hard the folks there work to take care of our kids. It was the first week of school and the younger kids were learning the etiquette for visiting the cafeteria. The teacher walked with them and p...
In the last several years of writing this column, I’ve mentioned my High School English teacher several times. Every time it was to talk about how much her efforts as a teacher meant to me as a student. This is particularly the case since I was a very poor student. I didn’t really try at all, but she put a effort into engaging and encouraging me. It would have been much easier to simply write me off, but her efforts made a difference in my life. A couple years ago, when I talked about this teacher, a good friend of mine approached me and enc...
One of my favorite quotes from the boxer Muhammad Ali is about training: “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” I have a good friend who says it a bit differently: “Training is better than trying hard.” The idea behind this is simple: the key to becoming good at anything is training. Exerting effort every day over the course of months and years accumulates into excellence that cannot be matched by putting effort forward in the moment. When I worked with kids in...
In a few weeks, I am (hopefully) going to self publish a book through Amazon’s Kindle service. Shortly thereafter, we’ll print physical copies of the book and put them up for sale on Amazon. I am waiting on the last details for the cover art to come together, and then it’ll be a go. Since I was a kid, I have wanted to write books and have started the process many times, only to get discouraged and give up. To be honest, I am a little surprised to find myself at this stage of the process after so many starts and stops. I’ve spent a bit of time t...
Many years ago, I briefly went to church with a person who had a gift for using words to get folks upset. This person could say a few choice sentences and make you feel defensive or belittled. They could phrase compliments in such a way that you felt worse for having received them. The worst was when they decided to be angry, in which case they used their words to bludgeon anyone who was unlucky enough to cross them. Not surprisingly, this individual quickly pushed people to one of two extremes. Folks either associated with them and were...
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Over the last 2 decades, my wife and I have traveled to nearly every state in the US. We have hiked in rain forests, climbed mountains, been lost in the wilderness, worried, laughed, cried, played, argued, and celebrated. I’ve treasured the last 7300 days that we’ve spent together. I’ve also come to realize that for all the adventures we’ve embarked on together, the thing that makes them really memorable hasn’t been the experiences themselves. It’s been sharing them with the woman who is my closest fri...
Last year, my then 4-year old son started using a new tactic in responding to me when he get’s frustrated with my unwillingness to give him whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Specifically, he started telling me that he doesn’t like me any more or that he likes mom more than he likes me. Using affection as a lever to get another person to do what you want is manipulative. It’s not an uncommon tactic for a small child, but it’s the sort of thing that folks should grow out of pretty early. There are less overt versions of this that are typ...
Most mornings, I wake up at about 3:45 and turn off my alarm before it goes off at 4 AM. I read the news until 4:05, giving the coffee make enough time to brew at least one cup. I get up, read, have my coffee, and go to the gym by 5. I am a night owl. I hate getting up early. Most nights, when I go to bed, I dread getting up so early in the morning. I also dread exercising so early. I do it first thing in the morning because I have time then (and the gym is usually empty). However, I recently noticed a crazy truth. My schedule has been screwy o...
For nearly a decade, I worked for a residential mental health facility. One of my favorite parts of that job was our annual trip to take kids to the upper parts of Minnesota, where we would canoe and camp with the clients for a week in the Boundary Waters. One year, I was working with a group of young ladies from our addiction treatment program. We were on the second day of our trip and one of our students was having trouble managing and paddling her canoe. She was sitting in the back seat, which is the position that essentially steers the...
“Are you keeping alive anger at a person who you haven’t seen in years?” I have asked this question of hundreds of people over the years and surprisingly ‘yes’ is a far more common response than ‘no’. It’s easy to do. Someone wrongs you and you feel hurt or betrayed by it, then over the course of time, those feelings of hurt become anger and eventually that anger takes root and becomes resentment. Resentment is old anger that we hang on to. I’ve talked with folks who harbor resentment toward a parent that has been dead for decades or a pers...
Many years ago, I worked with a guy I couldn’t seem to get along with. Whenever I had to deal with him I found myself bumping heads with him. At times, we devolved to shouting matches in the office. During that time, I came home from work fuming on many occasions, sometimes having to take long walks after I got home to cool off. During one such walk, I decided that I should spend time praying about the ongoing conflict and the other guy. It wasn’t my first instinct and I was not particularly formal or nice when I actually did it. On that day, I...
GK Chesterton once wrote that if you were sitting in a restaurant and a rhinoceros was to enter the establishment, the rhino would have a great deal of power in the situation. It could knock people around, trash the place, stop business transactions, ruin the waiters’ day, etc. There is no doubt that an animal that weighs more than a ton could certainly wreak havoc in a restaurant. However, as much power as the rhino could exercise, it would have absolutely no authority. The rhino couldn’t fire employees or change the price of dessert or ord...
I have been busy for the last few weeks. Between rushing around to deal with various obligations and efforts, I have hardly slowed down at all. When I have, I am finding myself tired, which prompts me to use my relaxation time for things like watching television or mindlessly surfing the internet. My energy to spend on reading or more edifying pursuits is limited. This morning, when I sat down to write this column, I discovered that my mind is blank. Coming up with ideas for topics is rarely difficult. Generally, they are birthed from my...
