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This week, as a homework assignment for a class my wife and I are taking at church, we have had to spend time talking on the couch every day and go out on a date. I alluded to the challenges associated with the assignment in an earlier column, but I think it’s worth pointing out the seemingly counterintuitive reasoning behind the assignment. The class that we are doing the conversation time for is a parenting class. The first few weeks of the course focused on an unlikely topic: marriage health. I call it unlikely because I fully expected t...
Q: I grew up in a religious home, but I rebelled against all that, and I suppose you could say I’ve been living like the devil ever since. I know I’m on a dead-end road, but I don’t think I can do anything about it. Has God given up on me? A: No, God has not given up on you! If God had given up on you, you wouldn’t even be asking this question. But He has planted this question in your soul—and the reason is because He wants to welcome you home. Don’t turn your back on what He is trying to tell you! The devil will tell you that it’s too la...
My wife and I have been taking a class at church that includes a daily homework assignment: We are to spend 15 minutes of ‘couch time’ together. In principle, this isn’t complicated or difficult to accomplish. It involves sitting on the couch together and having a one-on-one conversation for 15 minutes, without kids or tv or any other distractions. The crazy thing we discovered is that it’s just not easy to have a focused conversation for 15 minutes. We have to work to come up with things to talk about that aren’t small talk, work, or kid re...
I got a card the other day from a farm lady who thinks a lot of my writing and especially loves to hear about the times my family and I stayed out at Clear Creek around Christmas time. I love to think about those old cherished and true stories as well. There were not four wheel drive vehicles in those days so it was a rare weekend that we could even get in. Always we had a bunch of decorations to make a Christmas tree and there was always enough wood to stay warm and always a lot of food to eat. Often we missed church services but we figured...
Q: Do people who have died and gone on to Heaven know what’s happening on earth? If so, I’d think they’d be sad to see the evil and suffering that go on here. But isn’t Heaven supposed to be a happy place? A: Yes, the Bible assures us that Heaven is a place of absolute happiness and joy and peace—far greater than anything we’ll ever experience right now. The Bible says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ” (Ephesians 1:3). Do those in Hea...
I think I write this column every year around Christmas time but it means a lot to me so here I go again. I love the Christmas lights that are up all over this time of year. Just look at Big Sandy. Thanks to the Rotary Club and the Chamber of Commerce and many joyous volunteers, the town just pops at Christmas and is lovely and gives even more meaning to the birth of the Christ Child and all that has meant for so many generations. I think I can remember the first Christmas lights to be strung in Havre. I think they were on the big brick Clack...
Q: Every year I tell myself that I’m not going to get caught up in the Christmas shopping crush—but every year I hit the stores as soon as they open the day after Thanksgiving. I’ll probably do the same this year. I know this isn’t a spiritual question, but why can’t I be more self-controlled? A: Although it may not strike you as such, in reality this is a spiritual question—because it deals with everything from the way we use our money, to what we think is really important in life. Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will...
In the 5th Century, an Egyptian named Arenius set out to live a holy life by abandoning the community he lived in and living in the desert as a monk. After several years of living in the wilderness, he visited the city of Alexandria, where he spent time wandering through the markets and bazaars. A Christian in Alexandria asked him why he spent so much time wandering through the shops if he had renounced possessions and worldly comforts. He responded that he was filled with joy at the sight of so many things that he didn’t need. Arenius had l...
I have interviewed many people about their Thanksgiving dinners through the years. I have yet to tell anyone of my Thanksgiving disaster. I think that if they did have one, they buried it, because it was so horrible. In my family there were two fairly terrible episodes. One occurred when I was a child and the other occurred at my house in Somers when I was an adult. The Thanksgiving incident at Somers as it is called in my family to this day happened when I had bought a large Thanksgiving turkey and it seemed like things were going well until...
I’ve been going to the gym every day for months and have been enjoying it, but I discovered that the gains in my weight training and general fitness, which I experienced during my earlier days of working out, slowed gradually and reached a point of standstill over time. I responded to the slowing of my progress by working out harder, but that didn’t help. I resolved to stay the course and hope for the best at that point, when a friend of mine asked if I had considered taking days off or incorporating lighter workout days into my routine. I had...
Q: I hate to admit this, but my wife and I never got along, and when she died last year I wasn’t all that sorry. But now I desperately miss her. I wish I could make up for those lost years. What’s wrong with me? A: One reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because I hope it will cause other husbands (and wives) to re-evaluate their marriages, and do everything they possibly can to strengthen them—before it’s too late. Even if your letter only touches one person, it will be worth it. Why do you miss your wife so deeply? I can think of seve...
Some friends of mine are going to spend Thanksgiving at their cabin northeast of Missoula and feast on prime rib instead of turkey and dressing. I thought about that for awhile and decided it was a good idea. There should be a turkey in the mix for Thanksgiving or Christmas but serving good beef is great too as Montana owes a lot to the cattle that graze it’s coulees and great meadows that make Montana what it is. I have thought about what I am going to do for Thanksgiving this year. I am having trouble getting around so a minimal feast s...
Q: Every year we debate whether or not to invite my aunt for Thanksgiving. She’s a very negative person who spends her whole time complaining and criticizing everyone, and it gets very unpleasant. Would she get the message if we didn’t invite her this year? A: From what you say, I honestly doubt if she’ll “get the message” if you don’t invite her for Thanksgiving. Instead, you’ll probably just give her another excuse to complain and criticize you even more. The Bible bluntly says, “Whoever hates correction is stupid” (Proverbs 12:1)....
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and for many it is the time to head to Grandmother’s house or Aunt Margie’s house or invite a dozen people to your own house. I can remember when I was a small child around eight or so, I got a new sister and we always wanted to stay home for Christmas. Our parents were very generous as was Santa and there was a lot to play with on Christmas Day, So, we would put up a fuss if we had to go somewhere on that day of all days. We wanted our turkey dinner but we wanted it at home. Can you imagine us kids tel...
Q: You often say in your column that we need to learn to walk with God, but what does that mean? I don’t have any trouble believing in God, but I don’t think I understand what it means to walk with Him. A: The key is to understand what happens to us when we commit our lives to Jesus Christ. By nature, we are separated from God because of our sins—but when we open our hearts to Christ, He forgives us and comes to live within us by His Spirit. In other words, we now have a personal relationship with God. We have become God’s friend—and He has be...
Everywhere I go, my phone goes along with me. Part of the reason for its constant presence is my need to be available to folks. My job and my family are both benefited by access to me whenever and wherever I happen to be. It’s also a convenience. From time to time, I have trouble finding an address or I need to take a note that I would otherwise forget. Apart from that, my phone keeps me entertained when I feel bored. I can read the news, books, and articles or play games or waste time in almost a limitless variety of ways wherever I happen t...
This is the season for making hot and hearty soups. Yesterday a neighbor brought a vat of clam chowder for my supper. Clam chowder is a soup I do not make from scratch very often. I buy some prepared and add to it. But I love clam chowder and I think one of the reasons I do love that soup is because no matter who makes it or what restaurant makes it, it is always different from all other clam chowder and always very good. It was the same yesterday with my neighbor’s clam chowder. It was different than any I had eaten and very good! Years ago I...
While playing with my kids at the park this week, I watched as my son climbed the jungle gym, struggled with the last step, and called for help. I walked over, but was pretty sure he could take the last step from the ladder to the platform at the top. I watched as he yelled at me to grab him, while simultaneously taking the step over to the platform. He was obviously scared, which is justifiable for a four-year old, but he beamed when he managed to get to the top without any help. I was close enough to catch him if he fell, so he wouldn’t g...
Q: I know God has forgiven me for all the bad things I did when I was younger, but I just can’t get them out of my mind, and it really depresses me. Why can’t I forget the past? A: I’m confident that when we get to Heaven, all those memories will be washed away, and we will be overwhelmed with the wonder of God’s forgiveness and love. The Bible says, “When Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2). Why, then, doesn’t God erase our memory of those things right now? Perhaps one reason is to remind us of...
A good Halloween story is one that ends like no one ever suspects it is going to. A case in point is the dreadful Christler murder where Rev. Christler was shot dead by his girl friend in front of his wife at the church rectory where they were living. There were always stories going around about that murder for several reasons. Many people wondered if Rev. Christler’s wife had anything to do with the murder and others knew that the church rectory was haunted from that day forward. That Rev. Christler had a girl friend was well known around t...
When I worked full time in youth ministry, I noticed disturbing trend in the kids I worked with. With every passing year, they got busier and busier. Between homework, after school jobs, sports, extra-curricular activities, etc. many of them were scheduled end to end from before school until bedtime. Not every student reached that kind of excess, but it was rare to find kids who had any completely free days, apart from holidays. This was in a bigger community, which in many ways was different from Big Sandy, but there is a strange cultural...
I can’t help it. It is hunting season, or almost, and I have hunting on my mind. Now, mind you I don’t have shooting an elk or antelope or even a deer raised in alfalfa fields for a couple of years, no, it is not that that I dream about. It is the eats, in a word. My father and his brothers must have loved cabins. Anyway during fishing season we lived in a cabin most of the summer in the Bear Paw Mountains on Clear Creek. That was true in the fall when those fishing camps would turn into hunting camps as well. In those days there were few elk...
In 1906, San Francisco suffered through an earthquake which caused enormous damage and many deaths. Among the destroyed structures was the Memorial Arch that stood in the quad of Leland Stanford University. The arch had been a very large structure, and it appeared to be quite sturdy. When the earthquake hit, the otherwise impressive monument crumbled, damaged so severely that it was necessary to tear it down entirely. Part of the reason it was necessary to tear it down was that the earthquake revealed that the arch was really quite flimsy,...
Q: My parents never bothered to get married, and now that I’m in high school it gets kind of embarrassing when my friends start asking me about it. I’ve told my mom that I wish they’d get married, but they don’t seem interested. Should I just forget about it? A: You can’t force your parents to get married, of course; they alone must make that decision. You can, however, gently encourage them to take that step—not just to save you from any further awkwardness, but for the sake of their relationship. After all, what is marriage? Admittedly...
It was quite a storm this last week. I know some people in the Bear Paw Mountains who are still stranded and wondering what to do about it. I was only snowbound once unless you count this last storm last week. And I was not snowbound in it really as friends could come and go and bring me all sorts of good things to eat and drink. The only time I really remember being snowbound is in the 1990’s when I was living in the old Faber house on Little Box Elder Creek. There one day just around Easter, it started to snow and by the next morning I had a...
