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In the last several years of writing this column, I’ve mentioned my High School English teacher several times. Every time it was to talk about how much her efforts as a teacher meant to me as a student. This is particularly the case since I was a very poor student. I didn’t really try at all, but she put a effort into engaging and encouraging me. It would have been much easier to simply write me off, but her efforts made a difference in my life. A couple years ago, when I talked about this teacher, a good friend of mine approached me and enc...
One of my favorite quotes from the boxer Muhammad Ali is about training: “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” I have a good friend who says it a bit differently: “Training is better than trying hard.” The idea behind this is simple: the key to becoming good at anything is training. Exerting effort every day over the course of months and years accumulates into excellence that cannot be matched by putting effort forward in the moment. When I worked with kids in...
In a few weeks, I am (hopefully) going to self publish a book through Amazon’s Kindle service. Shortly thereafter, we’ll print physical copies of the book and put them up for sale on Amazon. I am waiting on the last details for the cover art to come together, and then it’ll be a go. Since I was a kid, I have wanted to write books and have started the process many times, only to get discouraged and give up. To be honest, I am a little surprised to find myself at this stage of the process after so many starts and stops. I’ve spent a bit of time t...
Q: We’ve been invited to a family reunion this summer, and to be honest I’m dreading it. Some in our extended family haven’t spoken to each other in years, and instead of being a happy time I’m afraid it could be tense. Should we even go? A: I can understand why you might want to avoid this event; after all, no one likes to be caught up in an unpleasant situation. When we face hard decisions (no matter what they are), it’s always tempting to take the easy way out—which in this case probably would be to stay away. But the easiest path isn’t...
Many years ago, I briefly went to church with a person who had a gift for using words to get folks upset. This person could say a few choice sentences and make you feel defensive or belittled. They could phrase compliments in such a way that you felt worse for having received them. The worst was when they decided to be angry, in which case they used their words to bludgeon anyone who was unlucky enough to cross them. Not surprisingly, this individual quickly pushed people to one of two extremes. Folks either associated with them and were...
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Over the last 2 decades, my wife and I have traveled to nearly every state in the US. We have hiked in rain forests, climbed mountains, been lost in the wilderness, worried, laughed, cried, played, argued, and celebrated. I’ve treasured the last 7300 days that we’ve spent together. I’ve also come to realize that for all the adventures we’ve embarked on together, the thing that makes them really memorable hasn’t been the experiences themselves. It’s been sharing them with the woman who is my closest fri...
Q: My best friend was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident a few weeks ago, and it’s really hit me hard. I’ve never given any thought to death, but now I can’t avoid it. Frankly, I’m scared, because I know I’m not ready to die. How can I be ready? A: One of the Bible’s greatest truths, although it’s one that’s hard for us to accept sometimes, is that God is able to bring good out of even the most senseless tragedy. I pray this may be the case for you. What do I mean? Simply this. All your life, you’ve lived for yourself, never thinking ab...
Last year, my then 4-year old son started using a new tactic in responding to me when he get’s frustrated with my unwillingness to give him whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Specifically, he started telling me that he doesn’t like me any more or that he likes mom more than he likes me. Using affection as a lever to get another person to do what you want is manipulative. It’s not an uncommon tactic for a small child, but it’s the sort of thing that folks should grow out of pretty early. There are less overt versions of this that are typ...
Q: My best friend was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident a few weeks ago, and it’s really hit me hard. I’ve never given any thought to death, but now I can’t avoid it. Frankly, I’m scared, because I know I’m not ready to die. How can I be ready? A: One of the Bible’s greatest truths, although it’s one that’s hard for us to accept sometimes, is that God is able to bring good out of even the most senseless tragedy. I pray this may be the case for you. What do I mean? Simply this. All your life, you’ve lived for yourself, never thinking ab...
Most mornings, I wake up at about 3:45 and turn off my alarm before it goes off at 4 AM. I read the news until 4:05, giving the coffee make enough time to brew at least one cup. I get up, read, have my coffee, and go to the gym by 5. I am a night owl. I hate getting up early. Most nights, when I go to bed, I dread getting up so early in the morning. I also dread exercising so early. I do it first thing in the morning because I have time then (and the gym is usually empty). However, I recently noticed a crazy truth. My schedule has been screwy o...
For nearly a decade, I worked for a residential mental health facility. One of my favorite parts of that job was our annual trip to take kids to the upper parts of Minnesota, where we would canoe and camp with the clients for a week in the Boundary Waters. One year, I was working with a group of young ladies from our addiction treatment program. We were on the second day of our trip and one of our students was having trouble managing and paddling her canoe. She was sitting in the back seat, which is the position that essentially steers the...
“Are you keeping alive anger at a person who you haven’t seen in years?” I have asked this question of hundreds of people over the years and surprisingly ‘yes’ is a far more common response than ‘no’. It’s easy to do. Someone wrongs you and you feel hurt or betrayed by it, then over the course of time, those feelings of hurt become anger and eventually that anger takes root and becomes resentment. Resentment is old anger that we hang on to. I’ve talked with folks who harbor resentment toward a parent that has been dead for decades or a pers...
Many years ago, I worked with a guy I couldn’t seem to get along with. Whenever I had to deal with him I found myself bumping heads with him. At times, we devolved to shouting matches in the office. During that time, I came home from work fuming on many occasions, sometimes having to take long walks after I got home to cool off. During one such walk, I decided that I should spend time praying about the ongoing conflict and the other guy. It wasn’t my first instinct and I was not particularly formal or nice when I actually did it. On that day, I...
Q: Why doesn’t God do something about the evil in the world? Sometimes I wonder if God even cares about the bad things that happen to people today. I don’t understand why He doesn’t just destroy everything that’s evil. A: I suspect almost everyone reading this has asked themselves the same question, because evil is real, and at times our world seems completely in its grip. And to be honest, we don’t always know why God allows evil things to happen. The Bible talks about “the mystery of iniquity”—and that’s what evil often is: a mystery (2 Thes...
GK Chesterton once wrote that if you were sitting in a restaurant and a rhinoceros was to enter the establishment, the rhino would have a great deal of power in the situation. It could knock people around, trash the place, stop business transactions, ruin the waiters’ day, etc. There is no doubt that an animal that weighs more than a ton could certainly wreak havoc in a restaurant. However, as much power as the rhino could exercise, it would have absolutely no authority. The rhino couldn’t fire employees or change the price of dessert or ord...
Q: Why doesn’t God do something about the evil in the world? Sometimes I wonder if God even cares about the bad things that happen to people today. I don’t understand why He doesn’t just destroy everything that’s evil. A: I suspect almost everyone reading this has asked themselves the same question, because evil is real, and at times our world seems completely in its grip. And to be honest, we don’t always know why God allows evil things to happen. The Bible talks about “the mystery of iniquity”—and that’s what evil often is: a mystery (2 Thes...
I have started this article a few times in my head and then thought, what do you have to write about, you met him once?! But the idea persisted that I did have something to say. I did not get to know him the one time I met him as I was there for an interview, so conversation was one sided. I got to know Robbie through his articles. I looked forward each week to more of his tales of his and his family’s past. They were so colorful and often funny. He educated me about a time of which I had no knowledge. His writings were not just of a time p...
I have been busy for the last few weeks. Between rushing around to deal with various obligations and efforts, I have hardly slowed down at all. When I have, I am finding myself tired, which prompts me to use my relaxation time for things like watching television or mindlessly surfing the internet. My energy to spend on reading or more edifying pursuits is limited. This morning, when I sat down to write this column, I discovered that my mind is blank. Coming up with ideas for topics is rarely difficult. Generally, they are birthed from my...
Last week, my four year old son sat in my lap one afternoon and told me: “Dad, I’ve decided to be a pastor, just like you, when I grow up. I’ve started practicing already.” When I asked him how he was training to be a pastor, he told me he started highlighting in his books. I got a laugh out of this, but I also felt a bit proud. My boy knows that I spend a good bit of time reading, researching, and highlighting for sermons. My son’s typical choices for future careers are typical of little boys: fireman or police officer. I suspect he probably...
Q: I know I ought to read the Bible, and I’ve tried, but I’ve always been a poor reader, and finally I just gave up. Does God think I’m a bad person? A: God knows both what you can do and what you can’t do—and He doesn’t get angry with you or look down on you because of this. We aren’t all the same; God created us with different abilities. The Bible says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” (Romans 12:6). Don’t misunderstand me, however. The Bible is God’s Word, and if we ignore it, our lives will be morally...
During Easter weekend, my wife planned a short trip away for our family. We traveled out to a hot springs resort, with the intent of staying for a day. Our stay was pleasant, but when it came time to drive home, we only got a few miles down the road before breaking down. Fortunately, we were able to limp the car along to the next town. Once we arrived, there was a handful of considerations to deal with, starting with getting the car fixed. In addition, we had to worry about renting a car, finding a hotel, entertaining the kids, arranging our...
Like many others around the country, I have spent the last week complaining about the time change and the havoc it wreaks on my natural living rhythms. I tend to wake up at the same time every day, and I get tired about the same time regardless of what the clock actually says. The clock impacts my daily planning and my commitments, but it can’t change certain aspects of life. I get tired when I get tired. I get hungry when I get hungry. Reflecting on this brought to mind Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes 3, which most folks are familiar with bec...
Q: My faith today is probably about where it was 10 years ago—not much stronger, not much weaker. I know I ought to be a better Christian, but I don’t know how. What would you say to me? A: Just as children are meant to grow and become adults, so we are meant to grow and become “spiritual adults”. Only then will we be able to resist wrong and do what’s right. The Bible says, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). The key is to understand that when we come to Christ and commit our lives to Him,...
A few weeks ago, I made a peanut butter sandwich for my son for lunch. He took his sandwich with him to his room, where he ate and played. Because he’s a typical four year old, it didn’t take long before he forgot about the sandwich and wandered off to do something else. When he remembered his lunch, he returned to it and found that the dog had eaten his lunch, which he had left on the floor in his room. Frustrated, he came to me crying over his lost meal. I made another sandwich, which he took with him to his room. Sure enough, 30 minutes lat...
Parenting two small children has afforded me a terrific opportunity to watch them and learn about human nature. I have noticed that my kids are happiest in their time together when they play without regard for who gets what, who has to clean up what, etc. When they both enjoy themselves and contribute 100 percent without concern for what the other is or isn’t doing, they tend to be much happier. However, when they begin to bicker over who has to do more or what belongs to who, the result is misery. I think this tendency can be attributed to t...
