A few years ago, I read “Standing for Something” by Gordon Hinkley. In it, he looks at virtues that are largely neglected in our culture. He argues that the key to happiness is in living according to these virtues. One of those virtues is selfless service. “The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” Essentially, he argues that selfless service gives meaning to life that cannot be found in self-centeredness or self-seeking. When we pay attention to the needs of others, rather than focusing on our own wants, we tend to be happier. The hard truth is that constantly looking to our own list of unmet wants and unscratched itches leads to hyperawareness of what we don’t have. Finding happiness through getting our wants met can give brief satisfaction, but the awareness of the other things we want simply drives us to seek more. In addition, self-centered living tends to lead to us not meeting the needs of those who we are in relationships with, which leads to degradation of those connections.
The notion that selflessness leads to happiness enjoys all sorts of support from scientific, philosophical, and religious literature. Advances in brain-scanning technology have revealed that serving others stimulates the same parts of the brain that are simulated by eating and sex. Essentially, we are hard-wired to serve, because serving others is pleasurable. It’s important to note that this effect may not be instant, because it tends to run contrary to our cultural conditioning. We have to learn to put aside our own constant desire for satisfaction. Support for this idea goes beyond the theoretical. Gallup surveys have found that folks who spend more time doing volunteer work and community service tend to be happier. Serving others leads to happiness.
This is a central teaching of Jesus, and can be seen throughout the Bible. Jesus summarized all right and wrong into two simple commands: Love God and love your neighbor. Mind you, this love is not a sentimental feeling. Rather, John tells us, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. Laying down our lives means more than dying for someone else. It means living for them as well.
This isn’t really a huge revelation for many people. Talk to a parent about loving and serving their children. Parenting is a labor of love that is truly its own reward. Seeing your children happy makes you feel fulfilled. The truth is that this concept is applicable to all areas of life, not just parenting. The greatest service you can do for your kids is to teach them to serve others and understand selflessness. It is also the best prescription for healing a struggling marriage. It’s part of what makes Big Sandy a great place to live. Folks draw together to serve each other. It’s what makes churches feel like families rather than simple social obligations. Service is one of the master keys to happiness and contentment in life. It’s easy to start as well. Pick someone and serve them. Identify a cause you are passionate about and work to advance it.
