The biblical book of Proverbs is a collection of sayings meant to teach young men how to live wisely. In the 15th chapter, there are 3 proverbs that link together to make an interesting point. Proverbs 15:17-19 begins with: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” The general idea is simple, it’s better to eat almost nothing with your spouse while you love each other than to eat prime rib in the middle of constant fighting. I think any married couple who have been together for more than a few years can understand the sentiment here. Constant conflict makes you miserable. It’d be better to go to bed hungry than to deal with that. It’s an obvious statement. Unfortunately, the nature of the world means that a lot of marriages live in this state more than they live in harmony.
The proverb that follows drives the point a little further. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” The book of Proverbs puts the responsibility for maintaining harmony on the husband. Sure, it takes two to make a marriage happy, but the Bible consistently presents the husband as having a special place of responsibility in the family. He is called to serve, love, sacrifice, etc. The message sent by pairing these two passages together is that the husband who is quick-tempered will stir up strife, and it’s better to go to bed hungry every night than to live in that man’s house. The key to keeping life at home happy is controlling your temper. If your household is often in conflict, check your temper. Mind you, losing your temper with your spouse doesn’t always manifest itself in yelling and fighting. Sometimes, it looks like cold silences and freezing the other out. You can stir up conflict with your wife by just being unloving. This is losing your temper as much as hollering and throwing things.
“The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.” The final passage that completes the idea is that lazy men have a thorny path in front of them. It takes a lot of work to keep your temper in check when you want to lash out. This is especially the case with your spouse, who is in a unique position to cause significant injury. You are vulnerable with each other and can hurt each other as a result. This makes anger an easy option for conflict. It takes hard work to swallow anger and create peace. However, that hard work results in easy travels and peace. The sum total of the message is easy to comprehend, but challenging to put into practice: Do the hard work of holding your temper and creating peace in your marriage and you will enjoy marriage. Conversely, being lazy in controlling your anger will give you misery at home. Though it’s a simple idea, it’s extraordinarily difficult to remember day to day as you live out your marriage.
