I recently read a book about the dozens of strange ways most people naturally think about the world around them, which result in mistakes or misunderstandings. A lot of the book dealt with logic, patterns of thinking about things, and ways that peopledeal with information.
Some of them were obvious, like wanting simple explanations for situations, even very complex ones. Or the fact that people are generally more trusting toward and think more highly of physically attractive folks. Others were less obvious, like the tendency of people to believe stories over statistics. We tend to relate with other people better than we do with numbers, which results in us tending to believe anecdotes over hard numbers.
Perhaps the tendency that jumped out at me more than any other was related to how we understand people who have different, opposing viewpoints on the world. This one stood out to me because of the excessively contentious political season we are trudging through. It offered a different perspective on the massive disagreements that seem to be dividing the nation.
The author talked about how studies have found that people are inclined to believe one of three things about others who have different viewpoints from them. The tendency is to assume that they either lack the necessary information to understand the world the way we do. If they knew more, they’d agree with our perspective.
The second perspective is that they lack the intelligence to understand the world correctly. Basically, they are too stupid to see we are right.
The final alternative is that they have the necessary information, but they are evil and thus choose to see with the world in the wrong way. To sum it up, people tend to assume that folks who don’t agree with them are ignorant, stupid, or wicked.
Not everyone sees the world this way, but one need only spend a little time reading social media or skimming the opinion section of a newspaper to find examples of it. This attitude pervades more than a little of the discussion of politics, religion, and other weighty social matters.
The problem is that the world isn’t that simple. It is often the case that folks see the world differently as a result of different values, experiences, or perceptions. Simply disagreeing doesn’t indicate a mental or moral defect in one party or the other.
Without recognizing that our neighbors are usually good-willed and honest people, who just disagree with us, civility becomes increasingly difficult.
Further, it’s nearly impossible to love your neighbor if you are looking down on them as ignorant, stupid, or evil. The author Anthony Bourdain put it well: “I don’t have to agree with you to like or respect you.” Differing perspectives doesn’t negate the words of Jesus about loving our neighbors as ourselves.
