For a few years after the death of his wife and mother, Theodore Roosevelt ran a cattle ranch on North Dakota. Early in his venture, another rancher tried to strong arm the future president from his land, going so far as sending a hired gunman and his gang to the homestead in an attempt at intimidation. Theodore wasn’t home at the time and the thugs left after issuing a warning that they would murder him next time they saw him. When Teddy heard about the visit, he rode directly to the gunman’s home, knocked on his door, and when the man answered Roosevelt confronted him directly. Shocked, the gunman apologized and there was no future trouble between the two. Roosevelt later wrote of his time in the Dakotas: “There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to ‘mean’ horses and gunfighters; but by acting as if I was not afraid, I gradually ceased to be afraid.” There’s an interesting principle to be learned from this incident. I’m not advocating directly challenging armed enemies to duels or solving problems through violence. Rather, it is easy to let fear dictate our path in life. Fear of failure, uncomfortable social situations, hard work, change, embarrassment, or loss can be paralyzing and can lead to a life of hiding or running away. Sometimes fear is a healthy thing. I am afraid of dying of a heart attack in my 40s. That’s a reasonable fear to have as you age. The important thing is how you respond to your fear. I have addressed my health related fears by eating healthier and exercising. I could choose to simply ignore the fear, but that won’t make it go away. It’s far wiser to consider the source and deal with it head on. Ultimately, fear is a healthy thing. It is a product of our brains producing chemicals to prepare us for dealing with danger. Fear is a survival mechanism, prompting us to fight or flee. The real challenge in dealing with fear, regardless of what it is, is in making the right decision and following through with it. This is because fear tends to push us to operate from the instinctual/survival oriented part of our brains, rather than the rational/thinking part of our brains. In a situation where you could conceivably be eaten by wild animals or run over by a car, this is an advantage. However, it is not an advantage when sitting at your desk at work while talking to an unpleasant person. Fear makes us act without thinking, which can lead to poor decisions in situations where survival isn’t at stake. The trick to dealing effectively with fear in most instances is by slowing down to think for a moment. This may involve taking a few deep breaths or being intentional about considering what to do next. Roosevelt described just that when he said that he acted as though he wasn’t afraid until he ceased being afraid. This isn’t easy. It takes hard work and practice to act in a manner contrary to our powerful survival instincts, but in doing so we enable ourselves to master fears that seek to become our masters.
