Patching Cracks

Camels are able to build a resentment toward their handlers. They can literally get angry at their handlers over a long period of time, then suddenly attack to release their pent up hostility. Some observers have compared them to pressure cookers that explode after enough heat has built up. An experienced camel handler can learn to observe and recognize that their animal is reaching the limit and about to blow up. Interestingly, their solution is to give the exasperated camel their coat, right at the point when the camel is about to lose its temper. The camel will then attack and tear up the coat until it has spent its fury. Then, with their anger spent, the camel resumes its work with its handler. This is an interesting phenomena because people are not all that different in how they handle anger and resentment. During my years working in churches and a rehab program, I’ve encountered many people who have long-held anger toward a family member or someone they haven’t seen in years. A strange thing can sometimes happen when the fires of anger are kept alive for years at a time: it begins to affect other areas of the person’s life. They can become more irritable, less forgiving, and ultimately grow short tempered themselves. Like the camel, that anger can provoke attacks on people who had nothing to do with the original injury. This is because anger, and the hurt that inspired it, do not go away on their own. The root causes need to be emotionally processed and healed before they can go away. Otherwise, like physical injury, they can get “infected” and become significantly worse. I’ve met people who are still stoking hurt and bitterness against people who have been dead for decades. Because they cannot attack the person who hurt them, that cauldron of rage boils over onto the nearest available target. Carrying around anger constantly for years cannot help but change you into a person who is always angry. Incidentally, it also turns you into a person who isn’t very happy and who does a good job of making the people around them unhappy. I often tell people that holding on to anger for years is like discovering mice in your attic, buying poison to deal with them, then eating it yourself. It doesn’t hurt the mice, only you. You don’t hurt the person you are angry at for years and years, just yourself. The solution is actually the opposite of what we are inclined to do: we must forgive and let go of the past. It’s not an easy thing to do, especially if you have been holding on to an offense for a long time. However, it’s the only way to move on. I think this is why the Bible instructs us “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” The process of healing from long held anger over old injuries is not instant, but it is important. It likely involves a lot of time praying and talking to friends or a professional. Still, despite the difficulty, healing and restoration are worth it.