Below is a writing shared with friends and family after the tragic news of my Aunt’s passing. Montana being the small state it is, news of my Aunt’s passing spread quickly. Former schoolmates, friends, and acquaintances were soon sending family members messages of condolences. Many of the messages also shared the individual’s feelings of utter shock and disbelief. I felt the need to provide some sort of response or explanation so that there could at least be an attempt to begin to understand the lingering questions “Why did this happen?” “How did this happen?” I composed a brief writing, and with permission of Rod, Lorna and Kyra began privately sharing with those who had shared their condolences with me. My Uncle Rod has now requested my permission to reprint this writing, to share with the community and I wholeheartedly gave him my blessing.
I am sharing this tragic news as I feel it is important for our friends, family and community to try and understand what happened with my family on a date none of us will ever forget- May 27th, 2017. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, in my heart I feel this timing is no coincidence, it is a sign from somewhere urging us to push for change.
My aunt Elaine Courtnage passed away on May 26th, 2017. Not many people are aware, but about 2 years ago Elaine’s daughter, my cousin Pam had a mental breakdown. Since this breakdown, she has continued to suffer with psychosis. She had spent many months in Warm Springs and lived with my Aunt and Uncle after her discharge. But Pam was just never the same, she was often out of touch with reality and became non-compliant with her medications. She moved back to her own house in Great Falls, but had difficulty managing her home and keeping a job. She was NOT herself, she was suffering from psychosis. My Uncle Rod and Aunt Elaine worked with lawyers, law enforcement and the state to have Pam declared incompetent, so that they could have her readmitted to Warm Springs and try to get her the help she so desperately needed. Because she was an adult and was not harming herself or others, their attempts to intervene and get her help failed.
Elaine went to help Pam with her house the last week in May. When she didn’t answer her phone calls my Uncle Rod became worried and drove to Great Falls to check on her. He found her unresponsive at Pam’s house. Pam was gone, she was later found near Missoula in the vehicle Elaine had driven to Great Falls.
With Pam’s state of mind, I’m unsure if we will ever know what truly happened. We do know there was an altercation. We also know that Pam is mentally ill and her family’s hands were tied in getting her the help she needed. Anyone who knew the old Pam understands that this behavior is not in her character, it’s unfathomable.
Working in healthcare, I recognized long ago that the needs of our nation’s mentally ill are not being met. This country’s mental health crisis has now touched someone you know and love. I’m asking for your prayers for my Uncle Rod, cousins Lorna, Kyra and Pam as well as all individuals who suffer with mental illness.
