6 years ago, while I was interviewing for pastor jobs, right before my wife and I decided to come to Big Sandy, I visited a small church in southern Indiana. The congregation had declined in the previous years after the pastor left his wife and children to run off with a Sunday School teacher. During the visit, my wife made an offhand remark about how she wasn’t perfect and committed sins daily. The leaders of the church panicked over what she said and asked me directly if my wife was living a wild life. I laughed at the question, mainly because my wife often humbles me with her godliness. I explained that she, like me, believes that perfection is impossible. We struggle and stumble every day. This is part of being human and also what makes the church’s message so fantastic. God knows we can’t be perfect, so he came to be perfect for us. God forgives and offers grace to folks who don’t deserve it. The leaders of the church were horrified. Nearly every one of them told me that they never sinned any more and had reached a state of perfection. One holdout commented that the previous pastor had often told folks that he was perfect, but then committed adultery and abandoned his family. I explained to the folks that were interviewing me that the belief and practice of telling people that we are perfect is poison to fellowship in a church. The previous pastor had, no doubt, experienced some temptation and may have struggled with the direction he was going in. However, standing in a crowd of folks who all believed they were perfect, telling other people that he himself was perfect, how could he ever confess his struggles to anyone? No one could rally around that pastor to help him be strong or correct the direction his life was heading in because he could never ask for help. The worst thing that can happen in a church is for folks to reach a point where they are afraid to confess to struggling and failing to be perfect. I’ve worked in churches for nearly 2 decades and have found that the worst times I’ve experienced have been in the early years when I was terrified folks will figure out that I am not perfect. I maintained a front of false piety, while struggling inside. Conversely, the best of times in my ministry have been when I’ve been surrounded by folks who can talk openly about their struggles. There is freedom in knowing that we’re not in it alone and don’t need to fake our way through life. This is one of the reasons for the success of groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. Members gather and talk openly about their powerlessness over their addictions. They don’t have to pretend to be perfect because the folks around them are open about their own imperfections. Openness produces freedom. One of the best experiences I’ve had in ministry has been when folks discover the joy that comes with unburdening themselves of things that have been killing them spiritually for years. I believe that this is what God intended the church to be like. Jesus spent his life with folks who were social outcasts and sinners. They were attracted to his message because he offered a clean slate and the opportunity to be right with God. Followers of Jesus are supposed to be dispensers of grace and forgiveness to folks in the same way that Jesus was.
