Q: Every year we debate whether or not to invite my aunt for Thanksgiving. She’s a very negative person who spends her whole time complaining and criticizing everyone, and it gets very unpleasant. Would she get the message if we didn’t invite her this year?
A: From what you say, I honestly doubt if she’ll “get the message” if you don’t invite her for Thanksgiving. Instead, you’ll probably just give her another excuse to complain and criticize you even more. The Bible bluntly says, “Whoever hates correction is stupid” (Proverbs 12:1).
It’s hard, I know, to be welcoming toward someone like this. But instead of seeing her as a problem, let me encourage you to see her presence with you as an opportunity—an opportunity to help her overcome her negative outlook. Does this sound unrealistic? Yes, it probably does, and it may not happen all at once—but with God’s help, her time with you could be a turning point. Pray for her—beginning today—and pray too that God will give you patience and wisdom and kind words. The Bible says, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
What can you do? First, if possible, give her something to do that will keep her busy. Not only will it keep her occupied, but it’ll let her know that you value her. Some people criticize or complain because they feel left out, and are only seeking attention. Seek ways to channel this in a healthy direction.
Then go out of your way to make this a time of true Thanksgiving. If someone says something negative, respond with something positive. You might even go around the table and let everyone express why they’re thankful this year. Remember: thankfulness always overwhelms ingratitude.
Q: You often say in your column that we need to learn to walk with God, but what does that mean? I don’t have any trouble believing in God, but I don’t think I understand what it means to walk with Him. — Mrs. E.Mc
A: The key is to understand what happens to us when we commit our lives to Jesus Christ. By nature, we are separated from God because of our sins — but when we open our hearts to Christ, He forgives us and comes to live within us by His Spirit.
In other words, we now have a personal relationship with God. We have become God’s friend — and He has become our friend too! But like any other friendship, our friendship with God needs to be nurtured. If it isn’t, our relationship with God will grow cold, and we’ll no longer see God as our friend. We may even become like the people of Jeremiah’s time: “My people have forgotten me, days without number” (Jeremiah 2:32).
How do we strengthen our friendship with God? How do we walk with Him every day? We do it the same way we strengthen our relationship with a friend, or with our spouse: we spend time with them — talking and listening to each other, sharing our concerns and joys, even helping and encouraging each other. In other words, we “walk” with them, enjoying their company and sharing our lives.
The same is true with God. Because He is with us, we can turn to Him in prayer at any moment, sharing our concerns and expressing our love for Him. We also can listen to Him, as we read His Word, the Bible, and hear others preach and teach from it. Make sure of your commitment to Christ, and then walk with Him every day.
