Q: A new family just moved in near us, and they apparently have a physically handicapped son who requires much care. We’ve barely met them, but should we offer to help them somehow? We don’t want to embarrass them or be nosey, but we want to be good neighbors.
A: I’m thankful you want to be good neighbors; all too often today we become so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget those around us. But Jesus gave us a much higher standard: “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:33).
Do you remember Jesus’ story about the good Samaritan? (You’ll find it in Luke 10:25-37.) Jesus was asked what it meant to love your neighbor, and He replied by telling about a man who had been beaten and robbed on a lonely road. Without help he’d die—but the first two men who came across him ignored him. A third man, however, stopped, tended his wounds, and then took him to an inn and paid for his care. Although he was a foreigner, he alone was the true neighbor.
What can you do? First, get acquainted with your new neighbors. Welcome them; take a small gift to them (such as flowers or a home-baked pie); let them know you’re glad they are your neighbors. Offer also to help them with practical questions—where the grocery stores are, for example. Later on, perhaps you can invite them for coffee or dinner.
In addition, let them know that while you don’t want to intrude, you know they bear a special burden because of their son’s situation, and you are willing to help—even in small ways. Assure them of your prayers also. The Bible says, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up” (Romans 15:2).
Q: I get very upset at people who claim to be Christians, but spend all their time gossiping about others and tearing them down. Christians are supposed to be kind and loving, aren’t they?
A: Yes, of course Christians are supposed to be kind and loving—just as Jesus is kind and loving toward us. Anyone who claims to follow Jesus but gives themselves over to gossip and negative criticism is not following His commands. Jesus said, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
Why are gossiping and tearing others down so wrong? One reason is because they are seldom truthful; in fact, they’re often an outright lie. And when it gets passed along, it often gets farther and farther from the truth. It’s also wrong because the motive behind it is wrong; we don’t gossip behind someone’s back in order to build them up, but to tear them down. Often, we’re also only trying to build ourselves up, showing how important or ‘in the know’ we are—which is wrong.
But gossip and backbiting are also wrong because of the results. How many reputations have been destroyed because of gossip? How many churches have been ripped apart because of someone’s malicious tongue? Instead of bringing healing and peace, gossip almost always brings discord and conflict. No wonder the Bible warns us against “discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20).
Don’t be disillusioned because of a few who claim to be following Jesus, but aren’t. Instead, make sure your faith and trust are in Christ. He alone is worthy of your trust, because He alone “committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth” (1 Peter 2:22).
