Many years ago, I worked with a guy I couldn’t seem to get along with. Whenever I had to deal with him I found myself bumping heads with him. At times, we devolved to shouting matches in the office. During that time, I came home from work fuming on many occasions, sometimes having to take long walks after I got home to cool off.
During one such walk, I decided that I should spend time praying about the ongoing conflict and the other guy. It wasn’t my first instinct and I was not particularly formal or nice when I actually did it. On that day, I spent a few minutes praying before the answer popped up in my head. I realized that, despite the fact that I was the chaplain at the facility we both worked at, I had only ever approached the guy’s hostility with hostility of my own.
I had never bothered to apply any of Jesus’ teachings on the matter to the situation. I began doing so and over time turned the hostility into a a friendship. I didn’t enjoy doing it and it ran counter to what I wanted to do in my anger against the guy, but it was the right answer. I don’t think I would have come up with the answer I did if I hadn’t chosen to pray about it. I say this because anger tends to make me not think carefully about my decisions. I think this is the case for most folks. Being angry makes you not think, and as a result, make poor decisions.
This story came up in a conversation over the weekend when a friend told me that she doesn’t pray when she’s angry because she feels like she’s not in the right frame of mind to talk to God. I tend to disagree with her assessment, and in fact can point to many instances where folks in the Bible prayed in extreme emotional conditions. There’s even a class of Psalms that are very angry, expressing the author’s feelings when overwhelmed with rage toward his enemies. When we’re angry is really one of the most important times to talk to God because it’s when we don’t think through our actions or lose control of ourselves and respond stupidly.
There have been many occasions in my life where I made choices in a heated moment only to sorely regret them later. Praying when angry has a handful of advantages. First, prayer gives us an outlet to express our emotions. Sometimes just ranting to God about my anger over a perceived wrong is enough to cool me down. One of the best ways to get rid of anger is to vent and let it out. Another advantage of prayer when angry is that it reminds us that God’s in control and ultimately it’s his job to set the wrongs right. It’s easy to lose sight of these things when we are in a rage. Further, it sets our sinful tendencies aside in favor of leaning on God for direction. A popular idea that lies at the core of the Alcoholics Anonymous program is that making right choices when our lives are out of control can be accomplished by giving control to someone who can actually control our lives: God. Prayer connects us to God, helping us to do right when anger is pushing us to do the opposite. Anger is a natural, healthy part of being human and can be useful. It can also be dangerous. The trick is to be wise and to seek wisdom when dealing with our tempers.
