Over the last few weeks, I have read a handful of articles in various publications on how to start an argument over politics with your family at Thanksgiving Dinner. The authors of these helpful guides included catchphrases and tricks you could play to bait your family into expressing a viewpoint about one side of the political spectrum or another just so you can argue about why they’re are wrong. This included such petty acts as changing the WiFi password to something they will hate so that they have to type in your opinion to go on the internet at your house. The reasoning behind these “opinion pieces” was that people who hold an opposing viewpoint in these contentious times shouldn’t have the opportunity to enjoy a peaceful day. Instead, they should be challenged constantly until they change their perspective. I found this kind of interesting because we can find many instances in the history of warfare (Civil War, WW1, & WW2) where soldiers treated Christmas as a day of truce to cross the lines and celebrate together. These are guys who are trying to kill each other every other day of the year, enjoying a little peace together. I would argue that this has a great deal to do with the culture of outrage that has grown and festered over the last few decades in the public conversation. Many people have reached the point where it is not enough to disagree with the other guy, we must now hate him. Arguments and debates have given way to name calling and personal destruction. Many have stopped discussing the merits of the other guy’s perspective, in favor of coming up with the worst label to apply in the name of invalidating them as people. This is a product of a culture that experiences hurt or anger and chooses to fan the flames of that negative emotion until it becomes outrage and hatred. The bitterness that ensues is spiritual and emotional cancer that will eventually destroy our relationships and our souls.
Out of interest and curiosity, I had a look at the social media of one fellow that authored an article advising folks to argue at Thanksgiving. The guy spent most of the holiday lamenting that he was home alone. There’s a great line in the book of Proverbs: “Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be the servant to the wise of heart.” (Proverbs 11:29) The idea behind this proverb is that folks who stir up trouble at home or in their community end up with nothing. They fall out of favor with their families and ultimately end up in a place where no one wants to deal with them any longer. Choosing to create trouble and pour gas on the anger and resentments in our lives will always result in people withdrawing from us. The aftermath of setting our relationships on fire today will be brokenness and regret in the future. Even worse, the more we invest ourselves into the emotional choice to hate the folks around us, the more we change who we are as people. Most of us know people who are angry and bitter all the time. They didn’t become that way all at once. Rather, they chose that emotional path over and over until it reshaped their hearts and minds. Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “I have decided to stick with love. Hatred is too great a burden to bear.” I believe this is a summary of the words of Jesus: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Loving the guy who disagrees with us is difficult. I’d suggest that praying for them regularly is part of how we accomplish it. However, having spent years of my life hating enemies and other years of my life training myself to love and forgive them, I will tell you that loving folks made me a better man. Living with rage, anger, and bitterness made me a smaller, worse man.
