Over the last few weeks, I have been reading about New Year’s Resolutions. One of the most common suggestions for folks to apply in order to succeed in their life changes is that you find a group of people to associate with that are doing the same thing. This is a powerful idea because it is well supported by human behavior studies. We are influenced by our environment and peer group. For example, children are more likely to read regularly if they are raised in a household with parents who read. Kids raised in a household with parents who drink heavily are more likely to develop drinking problems as they age. People whose closest friends are obese are 57% more likely to develop obesity problems. All of these facts are a result of a strange mental trigger that encourages us as people to match our peer group’s habits, values, and behaviors. We mirror the behaviors of those around us. Studies have found that people will tend to intentionally answer questions incorrectly in group settings if everyone else agrees on an incorrect answer, even if it is obviously a wrong answer. We are hardwired to want to fit into the group we are in and will tend to drift in the direction of those we are around. This is the reason folks will move into a new region of the country and develop accents that match those around them. They aren’t relearning speech patterns. They are mirroring those of the larger community they are influenced by. One easy to find example of this phenomena is related to smoking. If you ask smokers how they got started with the habit, most will tell you that they started among their peer group. They simply emulated the people they were associating with. This is one of the reasons support groups aid in addiction recovery. If you are trying to quit drinking and you surround yourself with people who are quitting or have quit, you are inclined to emulate the behavior of those you spend the most time with. That is why AA recommends “90 meetings in 90 days” to start out. It provides a peer group that encourages recovery. This isn’t all there is to the effectiveness of support groups, but it is a major contributing factor. This is a powerful idea in terms of our lives, because it can help us to make changes that are more likely to stick over the long term. For example, finding other folks who are engaging in a fitness routine or more disciplined eating will help you be successful at weight loss. In fact, having a spouse who manages to lose weight will often result in you losing weight whether you mean to or not. If you want to read more, finding a peer group that reads regularly and talking about your efforts will increase your likelihood of success. There are a ton of intentional things you have to do to make changes in your lifestyle, but one of the most powerful things you can do to change for the better is to simply surround yourself with people who are what you want to be. Then, you will unconsciously shift to match them. Incidentally, this is one of the reasons belonging to a church is so important to spiritual health and growth. You are influenced by those associations. Associating with a group of like-minded believers will help you grow spiritually because you build each other up just by being people who read the Bible, pray, worship, etc. Paul phrases it well: “Bad company corrupts good character.” We become who we surround ourselves with.
