I love Johnny Cash. I think my all time favorite Cash song is “A Boy Named Sue.” The song was a huge hit for Cash, but was actually written by Shel Silverstein, who is famous for writing books of children’s poetry. In the song, a young man is named “Sue” by his drunken no-account father before he is abandoned. The name results in extended misery for the boy, who is hounded and teased by everyone he encounters. Through the torments, he learns to be tough, mainly because he fights everyone who ever gives him a hard time. Eventually, Sue resolves to murder his dad and sets out searching for the man who ruined his life. Finally when the two meet, Sue fights the tough old man and wins. Before he has a chance to kill his dad, the old man explains that he named him Sue because he knew he wouldn’t be there to father him. Since the boy wouldn’t have anyone to teach him to be tough or a man, the name forced him to get tough and be a man. In the end, Sue walks away with a different perspective after forgiving his father. He still hates the name, but he understands how it made him better. This silly story describes one version of a powerful therapeutic technique called “reframing” that is employed by counselors. Reframing involves learning to think differently about a problem or challenge in order to change your attitude or response. Recently while discussing the pandemic and the lockdowns with my wife, I was lamenting the disruption it has imposed on our lives. As we discussed it, I realized that it has forced my family to spend a huge amount of time at home together. We couldn’t go out, invite friends over, or do anything else. Instead, we played more games together. We went for family walks. My kids played together more. The lockdowns have been crummy, but they have drawn my family closer. It is hard to complain too loudly in the face of this result. Perhaps the best example of this approach is found in the writings of a Dutch Christian named Corrie TenBoom. She was placed in a concentration camp with her sister because her family had hidden Jews during the holocaust. In one powerful line, she described how she would thank God for the fleas that infested their barracks and her clothing. She was grateful because the camp guards wouldn’t come into the barracks because they didn’t want to get fleas. This meant that she and her sister could read the Bible they had smuggled in without fear of getting caught. She wasn’t complaining about being covered in fleas. She was thanking God for them. It would be easy to complain, but she looked at it in a very different frame. I’m sharing this because this has been a difficult year for everyone. None of us have been in concentration camps, but we have had a uniquely stressful time. Between the acidic atmosphere in our political discourse, the financial hardships many are facing due to shutdowns, social isolation, fear of the virus, anger, and everything else that has gone wrong in 2020, it would be far too easy to get down. However, the clamor of the chaos in the world around us right now should not drown out the pluses that we might find. During the lockdowns, I was impressed at how folks showed their love for their neighbors by giving of themselves to take care of others. Stores all over the country are sold out of bicycles still today because families have been riding together for recreation. Parents have been involved more heavily in their kids’ education because of distance learning. Lots of people have begun attending worship services through streaming options. Many of them investing in their spiritual lives for the first time in years. It’s an easy time to be discouraged and depressed. However, only when the sky is darkest can we see the stars above. It’s a great time to look for things to thank God for. To do that, we must learn to reframe our situation. Take a slightly different perspective and find the positives. I’m not talking about fake positive platitudes. Instead, I am referring to the reality that God blesses us, even in the midst of hard times. Sometime we just have to look.
